I'm Not That Strong..

Perkahwinan & kita

Sejak dua menjak ni ramai kawan-kawanku yang bercerai. Subhanallah... berderau darah aku. Dah jadi macam musim bercerai pulak.

Ish, bagi aku dan fad yang baru sahaja mendirikan rumah tangga - memang banyak dugaan kami untuk stabilkan kewangan kami suami isteri. Walaupun sudah bercinta 8 tahun msih ade 2/3 benda yang kami masih perlu belajar tentang each other. Sebab masing-masing ada cara masing-masing untuk buat sesuatu kan...

Sometimes ada juga berkecil hati.... tercakap kasar, kadang-kadang lupa nak fikirkan tentang perasaan dia ke, kadang-kadang ada yang dia buat yang tak kena dengan gaya kita ke... macam-macam lah. Toleransi dalam sesuatu hubungan memang lah penting. Sebab itu orang tua selalu kata; the 1st 5 years of marriage is the toughest. 

Aku berbual dengan teman baikku Fafa pagi tadi, she quoted:

"Kalau orang yang bercinta, boleh putus, orang yang bertunang, boleh putus tunang, orang yang sudah berkahwin pula belum tentu boleh last forever... Kita berdoa mana yang baik"

Ya, kita berdoa lah. tidak semestinya Allah turunkan dugaan pada kita, Allah tidak sayangkan kita.... Dia cuma mahu mengingatkan pada umatnya supaya solat dan berdoa kepadaNya - insyaAllah Allah akan menjanjikan kebahgiaan untuk kita dikemudian hari. Amin...

Presenting .... My best friends....

                        

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

 This is Ilis... A proud wife and mom. She's the most positive thinker among the four of us. Always keeps us on the ground... have a great sense of humor too! 

Fafa; the most adventurest among us four... has a great personality and very easy going. 

This is Shakira - our very own Posh Spice. A proud mother of two. A very strong and the most purest heart that i known. Very genuine ...

and.... not forgetting. My very own Ms Dilla. A proud mother of one; Shakira.- My partner in crime... hahaha

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

Other people just come & go... but you & i will stick with each other until the end =) Coz that's what friends are for... 

7 Types of Friendship

Tiba-tiba aku terfikir tentang persahabatan yang aku disekelilingku dan persahabatanku dengan orang. Jadi aku pun google "Types of Friendship" and I've come across one article yang menarik yang aku ingin share kan kepada semua.... sharing is caring kan... hehehe

Different Types of Friendships

Written by Rajyeshwari Ghosh

One of my professors once told us to diversify our own personalities, and today I am very grateful to him for his advice, because I make a conscious effort to accept someone without judgments. These days, we name almost any relation as a “friend.” Do we really think what kind of friend we are to another, or what kind of friends we are actually looking for?

To me, friendship is a relationship where both individuals can have a great time together, with whom there are less ego fights, with whom I can have open conversations, and who will prove loyal. A good friend always appreciates the good qualities in a friend, tries to mend the negative qualities, and encourages an honest and open relation. A good friend is a sense of inspiration and motivation. Good friends learn from each others’ mistakes.

Based on my experiences, I have explored the different types of friends I have found in my life, and what we can expect from each of these types.

1. Professional Friends – This group is for professional networking. At the beginning of the relationship, most of the conversations are about topics of mutual interest in specific professions, and then it can gradually take a more personal turn. In this friendship, the expectation is to learn, exchange information, ideas, concepts and grow professionally. A lot of these friendships are formed in professional organizations like Economic Club of New York, Project Management Institute, and 100 Women in Hedgefunds. Most of these relationships grow deeper when both individuals can provide professional expertise and insights. We can find these friends at workplace also. Sometimes, they take the form of mentors, or someone we can count on in future. As we grow professionally, this group tends to increase more. This is where professional and business etiquette must be practiced.

2. Social Friends – This group of friendship is formed in social service clubs like Rotary International, Lions Clubs, and Kiwanis International. This group is conscious about social issues and also wants to network in a less formal setting than the professional friends circle. This group of friends volunteers their time, money and efforts to work on social causes, and get public recognition for the same. The budding professionals can take leadership roles to take and execute responsibilities, and to promote and sell their skills. We can also find a group like this in major corporations like Asian Heritage Network group of Citigroup.

3. Deep/Emotional Friends - Friends in this group are very few. This group of friends tends to have an intellectual appetite, but usually have perceived and experienced life through various relationships. This friends group will be there to support us during the ups and downs of life. Sometimes, we can find these friendships between married women, mother and daughter, close sisters. These are the friends who we will grow old with.

4. Intellectual Friends – This group has a very curious and intellectual mindset. We can talk about anything without being embarrassed. Friends in this group are very few. The difference between the Emotional and Intellectual friends is that the latter understand situations logically without mixing feelings. Usually this group of friends is considerate, matured, well-developed and have their own fulfilled lives. Sometimes, these groups of friends are so busy in their own pursuits and quests of life that they might not be able to offer the time, but when they do, it is mutually fulfilling.

5. Self-Actualized Friends – Friends in this group are the perfect combination and are very rare to find. These friends have an amazing appetite for intellectual conversation, are open to discuss about life experiences, take care of their own needs, have less complaints about life in general and respect others views of life. In addition to that, they will love to invest time to grow emotionally, professionally, intellectually, socially, and spiritually, know how to laugh and enjoy life also. These friends will not try to change others, but will appreciate and respect the differences. Probably, we will grow old with this group of friends. The friends in this group volunteer to give us feedback and advice about different aspects of life, not only because they care about us, but want positive things to happen in our lives.

6. Buddy Friends – This is a very informal group of friends, who meet informally to have a great time together. A lot of Meet Up groups fall under this category. This is the group who are usually college students, high school students, and singles. These friends usually go to the clubs, bars, happy hours, discos. There is not much intellectual connection, professional connection, because the people in this group still does not have the need to explore more serious matters of life, or might not feel the comfort to seek advice on any issues.

7. School Friends (Memory Revisiting) – There are a lot of friends in this group. If we have not kept in touch, most of them are acquaintances at this stage. Most likely we have changed, since we last saw them and they have changed also. We will meet them at reunions, alumni events. Most of the conversations are nostalgic and about the “good old days.” 

Other People's Life - Teladan Hidupku

Tiap kali aku baca seorang hamba Allah punya blog ni telah memberi aku idea untuk menulis. Sungguh pon dia ni boleh dikatakan MUSUH kepada salah satu teman baik aku, aku nak kate respect dengan minah ni; memang tidak lah kan TAPI she is (without a doubt) a very good writer. 

Dalam ramai-ramai orang disekelilingku ini, aku suka analyze sikap minah ni to me she has a very strong head on her shoulder and knows what she wants in her life... i think that is why she is a medical student in Ireland right now. She carries herself very well, I should say. BUT tang psycho tu memang aku tidak boleh tinggalkan... hahaha... 

One of the big things that i realize, minah nie memang suka nak cakap A je lah. Tapi it does suits her coz tengok ari gaya minah ni... family dia bukannya calang-calang orang so ape aku nak complain kan? Lain la kalau minah ni datang dari kampung pastu cerita kat orang nak A je... memang lawak lah kan.... bukan tak de kat dalam dunia ni orang macam ni, ade... tapi aku layan kan aje lah (geli hati pulak bile teringatkan seseorang... HAHAHA)

The thing is.... i learn so much from minah ni, good or bad tue (for me) belakang cerita lah tapi kisah hidupya boleh aku jadikan teladan. Just for the record; I think she's gonna be a great doctor someday.... InsyaAllah.

Selesailah Sudah....

Hari yang dinanti-nantikan pon sudah lepas. Tup tap.. tup tap.. aku sudah pon jadi isteri orang. Setelah berendam air mata berbulan-bulan semata-mata wedding arrangement kini aku boleh exhale dengan hati yang tenang. Hehehehe... Setelah berhempas pulas nak go through 3 hari wedding event macam orang hilang akal. Aku dan suami (cewah! suami tuh!!!!) terbang ke Phuket untuk berbulan madu. 

Alhamdulillah, terpancar betapa happy nya fad pertama kali menjejak kaki ke atas kapal terbang MH790. Melihat telatahnya macam kanak-kanak kecil baru dapat lolipop tiap kali dia melihat kapal terbang berlepas semasa di KLIA. Aku pon dengan baik hatinya; bagilah dia duduk di sebelah tingkap. Melihat dia begitu teliti memerhatikan pergerakan sayap kapal terbang itu, aku pon ikut skali excited.  

 Kami boleh dikatakan sangat beruntung kerana dengan package yang kami ambil untuk tinggal di Club Med Phuket semua orang tahu memang bukannya murah. Nasib baiklah ada Matta Fair. Dengan hanya RM2500 untuk 5 hari 4 malam termasuk dengan makanan, tempat tinggal & aktiviti memang sangat berbaloi! I would suggest to anyone to go there! Especially honeymooners!

Dengan ini aku ingin mengambil kesempatan ini untuk mengucapkan beribuan terima kasih kepada semua ahli keluarga dan kawan-kawan yang sudi meluangkan masa untuk menjayakan 3 days event ni. Thanx to my besties who sang on my wedding day. Aunty Lina for your speech (which brought me to tears) and the delicious wedding cake. Ayah Ajis who plays with the marvelous live band. Tok Julia, Fatihah, Lin, Irin, Uncle Shafee, Aunty Mas, Tok Idah, my dear sister & sister in law, my brother, Aunty Rose... semua lah!!!! TAPI yang paling penting.... to mama and papa. Love you guys so much. To my husband.... love you million times more!

The Sad Heart : My Angel

   

I am not going lie; if I could count the tears that I have shed just because of my wedding arrangements and the people who are involve with it. Biasa lah, people bound to get hurt or what so ever. Aku yang bakal pengantin ni hanya mampu diam melihat sandiwara semasa tapi takpe lah, who am I to force people what to feel. Sepatutnya lagi 4 hari lagi aku bakal mengakhiri zaman bujangku ni aku sudah tidak lagi ada perasaan tertekan, lain yang diharapkan lain pula yang terjadi.

Semalam dengan perasaan sedih aku berbual dgn kakak angkatku; menanyakan pendapatnya. There is one thing about her that i like the most... the quality that no one has... the aura when she talks or when she explains things. Just thinking about her makes me smile. The moment she opens up her mouth it's like flowers coming floating in the air. Betul!!! Tak tipu!!!

Her respond to my problem simply just make me laugh, nak tahu ape die cakap? She said...

"Normal to worry. I'm giving you an easier way through. Remember -

determine to be a glowing bride - a frowning bride tak sexy ;) "

LOL - sure aunty sexy! Hahahaha... well anyway, kalau ada sesiapa yang curious nak tahu siapa gerangan my favorite aunty ni... ha.... she's the one who will give speech, representing me to my future husband on my wedding day. SSssoooo.... stay tune *wink*wink

Alahai anak 'tunggul'...

Kelam-kabut tentang hal kahwin ni aku boleh terdiam sejenak... macam tak percaya pulak aku ni sudah nak jadi isteri orang tak lama lagi! Meremang bulu roma aku! Sudah 28 tahun aku hidup sebagai 'anak tunggul'; sudah biasa dengan kehidupan hanya ada mama dan papa dirumah kini aku akan hidup berdua bersama bakal suamiku. Wah! Just the thought of that can makes me all giddy sometimes! Hahaha

TAPI aku tidak dapat menghalang perasaan takut dan gementar apabila memikirkan hari yang bakal tiba. Macam-macam persoalan didalam kepalaku timbul. Sudah bersediakah aku? Betul kah pilihan aku ini? Boleh kah aku menjadi seorang isteri yang baik seperti mamaku?! Panic pulak tiba-tiba. 

Setelah lama aku fikirkan segala pahit getir aku dan dia selama 8 tahun perkenalan. Memang bermacam-macam dugaan kami lalui bersama. Dengan kisah orang mengata, degan kisah orang ketiga, dengan kisah nak tunang tak jadi tunang, dengan kisah confuse dengan perasaan sendiri... ai.... memang macam-macam lah! Kalau nak tulis novel agaknya mau aja 500-700 pages! Ha, memang tak terbaca korang semua. Walau macam mana pon, Alhamdulillah.... panjang juga jodoh kami hingga ke saat ini. Aku memang amat bersyukur. 

Pada apa yang aku lihat semua teman-temanku yang sudah berkahwin; aku tahu, bukan senang nak jadi seorang ISTERI. Memang banyak pengorbanan yang harus dilakukan untuk menjadi isteri yang mithali kerana sememangnya syurga seorang isteri dibawah tapak kaki suami. InsyaAllah aku akan sedaya upaya cuba untuk menjadi yang terbaik untuknya. 

Few of my fave Korean songs

WAR OF WORDS!!!!!

Baca satu blog satu hamba Allah ni sungguh menyakitkan hati dan perasaan orang aje. Kira dah lebih kurang dua kali aku dah baca blog hamba Allah ni just because she LOVE to write about a close friend of mine. And when i say she LLLUUURRRVVVEEEE dia memang betul-betul suka. 

Terus terang aku katakan aku memang faham apa yang minah ni go through. Ya lah, seorang wanita yang bertudung berumur 25 tahun baru sahaja ended kisah percintaannya dengan seorang pilot. Kira lama lah juga mereka bercinta... 6 tahun kalau tak silap. Nak-nak ex-bf dia ni tinggalkannya for another person. Dengar macam tu memamg ex-bf dia ni sangat kejam... tapi... THERE'S TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY... betul? betul.... 

Perlu ke minah ni menjatuhkan maruah orang dalam blog, publicly calling names apa semua? Contoh; kalau marah pada 1 specific janda, tak kan lah kau nak hina semua orang yang berstatus janda? tak baik... sebelum kita nak hina orang dik oi; cermin lah diri sendiri dulu. Fikir... kenapa your ex tinggalkan you bukan duk menunding jari kat one person aja. Who are you to call people 'Bitch' when you're bitching about other people like nobody's business? 

When i asked my dear friend apa dia nak buat with the whole situation ni and she just said "Tak apa, I diam aja. Malas nak layan," In my heart I really admire her patience... kalau aku la, memang dah lama minah ni jadi history.

To Ms Azyanliana... if your reading this... ternyata tindakan anda sangat childish. I understand your pain but you (my dear) have to learn how to let go and move on. If you keep doing this you will hurt yourself even more. Jangan nak bitch around like orang yang tidak ada pegangan agama kay, awak tue pakai tudung. Stop digging your grave. Okay la Ms Azyanliana, disebabkan you dahagakan public sympathy... i dedicate this song for you. LOL Enjoy!

                         

Menghitung hari....

To plan your own wedding is most certainly not an easy thing to do (especially when you're paying for it alone). There's too many distractions from all directions and I try to full fill whatever new wedding trends which has been suggested to me.... i mean, after all... who doesn't want a fairy tale just like Kate Middleton's?

The most simplest wedding was orang dulu-dulu punye wedding; where by tak cost so much and semua orang boleh attend (never mind the gate crashers!!). Kalau orang dulu-dulu kahwin paling tidak pon maybe dalam RM5-7k je yang habis but nowadays lain pulak trend die. Zaman sekarang punye wedding (Ya Rabhi, Ya Tuhanku....) sampai orang-orang berebut amik loan bank semata-mata nak kahwin.

                                                                                                             

Myself sendiri pon tidak jauh beza dengan orang lain... bermacam-macam kerenah, bermacam-macam masalah harus aku lalui nak-nak lagi 13 hari bakal aku menempuhi detik-detik bersejarah dalam hidupku tapi Ya Tuhan.... dugaanku! Alhamdulillah dugaanku bukan berpunca dari bakal suamiku, kalau tak... hhhhmmmm.... tak tahu lah apa nak dikatakan lagi dah, lain pulak jadinya nanti. 

Tiap-tiap hari aku berdoa...

"Ya Allah, Ya Tuhanku... aku mohon pada mu. Berkatilah kasih, sayang, 

cintaku dan juga Zulfadli Aziz supaya kami dapat hidup bahagia didunia

dan diakhirat. Kurniakan lah kami cahaya mata yang soleh serta solehah

... amin, amin ya rabbal alamin"

Aku harap everything will goes well, insyaAllah... pada yang sudi membaca blog ku ini, doakan lah kebahgiaan ku ya...

The beginning of the rest of my life

Looking back 7 tahun dulu, terasa macam semua yang kami dah go through sama-sama worth while; every moment, every second, every minute, every hour an every day. Terus terang aku katakan... just like other couples; bermacam-macam dugaan kami tempuhi bersama. Tuhan je yang tahu... dengan issue orang ke3, soal trust, soal confuse dengan perasaan diri sendiri... semua lah! 

Bila teringat balik bagaimana Fad dan aku berjumpa, memang kelakar! Kami berkerja di Pan Pacific Glenmarie Kuala Lumpur; he was in F&B dan I was in the Front Office department bekerja sebagai Receptionist. Time tu aku memag tak suka dia. Mana taknya asal busy je aku nak call report untuk breakfast MAS Stopover guest kat Kites Restaurant, aku ni yang innocent bagai kena marah! Bikin Panas je! Hello! Aku pon busy okay! Bukannye aku call ko sebab nak mngorat! 

Tapi tak la macam mana tiba-tiba kami jadi rapat... tiba-tiba aja dia ada dimana aku berada, tiba-tiba aja dia adalah orang aku pertama yang aku akan fikirkan tiap-tiap hari, tiba-tiba aja dia lah jadi subject utama dibibirku.Wah, aku telah jatuh cinta!

I guess betul lah orang cakap.... love is blind... I'm not a pretty girl who's slim or what so ever but Alhamdulillah Fad terima aku seadanya. Walaupon perbezaan ketinggian kami selalu jadi bahan gelak orang, walaupon issue berat badan aku jadi buah bualan orang ... Fad still selamba. 

To my dearest fiance, thank you so much for accepting me in your life, thank you for being patience and keeping up with me and most of all thank you for loving me... because of this, I love a billion times more.